Respectable (1 Timothy 3:2e)

We continue our series on being a blameless congregation—a congregation growing in maturity and Christ-likeness as we strive to attain these qualifications. In this study, we examine one particular qualification that Paul gives: the word “respectable.”

Let us read 1 Timothy 3:1–2 for context:

What does “respectable” mean?

What comes to mind when you think of a respectable person? Perhaps someone honourable who has achieved great accomplishments, someone successful in their career or academia. Perhaps you picture someone whose life appears ordered—someone who has “all their ducks in a row.” You might think of someone well-dressed, well-groomed, or someone with status and influence.

These images of respectability are universal concepts that our culture instils in us. We are naturally drawn to respectable people. Yet as Christians, we must understand what it means to be respectable in a Christlike way. What does the Bible teach about respectability?

The Greek word behind “respectable” is kosmios, related to cosmos. This word has two senses: It means to order something, or that something is orderly. When we look at the cosmos—the heavens, planets, and stars—we see design and harmony, an ordering of relationships. The word also carries the sense of adorning something to make it attractive, from which we derive our word “cosmetics.”

This word appears elsewhere in 1 Timothy. In 2:9, Paul writes, “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”

Combining these two senses—ordering and adorning—we understand that biblical respectability means bringing our behaviour in line with a standard. We behave appropriately according to a norm, acting in accordance with what is fitting for our situation.

To be respectable means to live an ordered life. But this immediately raises the question: ordered according to what? If respectability means being well-adorned, adorned with what? What is the ultimate standard by which our actions should be measured?

For Christians, the answer is Christ—the Word made flesh, God incarnate. He is our standard, template, and pattern for living.

Before examining Christlike respectability, we must address several worldly misconceptions that can taint our understanding.

The first misconception is that being respectable means being seen. Some believe respectability comes from visibility—being heard more, attending more meetings, or being present more often. However, anyone can put themselves in the spotlight or speak more words. Frequency of appearance does not determine worthiness of respect.

The second misconception is that being respectable is about you. This misconception makes respectability self-focused—about inflating one’s ego or what one can say about oneself. This inward-focused, selfish view misses the point entirely.

The third misconception is that being respectable is primarily external. While respectability is often perceived externally, it must not begin and end there. Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:3–4:

This applies to men as well, who can be equally susceptible to thinking respectability concerns only externals—appearance, fitness, or dress.

The fourth misconception is that being respectable means being “put together.” Our culture suggests that healthy, fit, well-spoken, professionally successful people are respectable—these are the ideals to emulate. While the Bible may describe some of these as blessings from the Lord, they are not presented as the standard we should strive towards. We must not think someone unworthy of respect because they lack these things. The world has a way of casting aside those who don’t match a particular template—the unhealthy, disadvantaged, or oppressed. This is decidedly not a Christian conception.

The fifth misconception is that being respectable means being liked. The qualification is not that we must be respected—we cannot control how others perceive us. What we can control is ensuring that, as we humbly submit to God’s standards in Scripture, our actions are respectable in God’s sight first and foremost.

We must be “respectable”—able to be respected if one submits to God’s standards. However, since the world does not submit to God’s standards, there may be times when being respectable in the Christian sense means the world will see us as disrespectable.

How can we mature as Christians by adorning this virtue? How can we walk according to Christ’s pattern and grow as a congregation in holiness?

First, allow others to help order your life according to biblical truth. Involve yourself so deeply in others’ lives, and open your life sufficiently, that people can observe both your profession and your actions. They can see whether your behaviour aligns with your beliefs.

The worldly conception focuses only on externals, but we must ensure the external represents what we believe internally—that it accords with the truth we profess. This is why Paul becomes so practical in Ephesians 4, saying: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1).

We need our brothers and sisters to speak honestly into our lives where they see us failing to adorn the gospel in our actions and speech.

Second, trust that God’s assessment matters more than the world’s. Sometimes the respectable action is not the popular one. Sometimes it draws the wrong kind of attention, making you feel awkward and isolated, potentially costing influence at work or school. In those moments, provided you are living according to Scripture with a clear conscience, you must trust that your heavenly father sees you.

The pressure to conform to what your current group considers respectable is real—the desire to put your best foot forward so others smile at you, give you influence and status. But we must remember that our heavenly father, who sees in secret, offers a reward greater than any earthly reward.

Third, grow in understanding and appreciation of biblical truth. Remember our definition: to be respectable means our lives are ordered according to biblical truth and adorn biblical truth. If this is respectability, then it’s impossible to conform our lives to something we know nothing about. How can we trace a stencil when it’s blurry in our minds? How can we follow someone when we can’t see where they’re going?

Sometimes we treat our Bibles as though good behaviour will automatically emerge simply from letting propositions pass through our minds. While it’s true that someone can read their Bible and remain unchanged, this doesn’t negate our need for theology. Rather, it shows our need to not only understand the truth we’re reading but to appreciate it.

As we read, we must ask: Do I not only agree but also love this truth? Am I not only seeing a good point but ready to live in light of it?

When reading how King David took his complaints to God during persecution and suffering, don’t leave it as propositional truth—ask yourself: “Am I taking my complaints to God?”

When reading in Proverbs that “the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,” don’t merely acknowledge it as a universal principle—ask: “Am I pursuing wisdom? Do I fear the Lord?”

In Titus 2:9–10, Paul tells bondservants to be “submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour.” If this was true for bondservants, how much more for us? They were adorning theological truths of the gospel through their conduct as employees.

In Ephesians 5:1–2, Paul writes: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

This is a Christian definition of respectability: walking according to Christ, not merely proclaiming Christ but living Christ.

This standard is far higher than respectability merely meaning being well-dressed, wealthy, or successful. Those things are easy in comparison to imitating God. This is a high calling requiring God’s sanctifying and maturing grace, but it begins with knowing truth and then living that truth for all to see.

It means imaging Christ. That is respectable.

AMEN