Upon our arrival in South African in 1990, it didn’t take long to learn the importance of this Afrikaans sentence. And though initially I didn’t understand the language, I could easily decipher its meaning from the attending picture of a vicious dog. Further, being bit by a German Shepherd while canvassing the neighbourhood, inviting people to church, quickly taught me that pasop vir die hond is not the same as “welcome”! The same can often be said of people.
Jill, my wife, recently shared from a podcast that “when people approach you, do they see, ‘Welcome’ or ‘Beware of the dog’?” That is a really helpful (and convicting) thought.
The Lord Jesus instructs us, in Matthew 18, that his disciples are to be concerned about others, particularly fellow church members. We are to be welcoming, not dismissive; open, not closed; friendly, not frightening. But that is sometimes easier said than done. Hopefully this brief article will provide some helpful considerations and counsel.
We were recently reminded from 1 Corinthians 16 that, when the church is gathered, we are to “greet one another.” Next to the command “love one another,” this is the most repeated “one another” in the New Testament.
To “greet,” in biblical parlance, is to “embrace one another.” It is more than a merely perfunctory, “Hi, how are you?” though that’s included. A biblical greeting might begin with a warm handshake or an affectionate hug but it includes a genuine interest communicating concern for meaningful interaction. To biblically greet another is to take them seriously. We are to attentively greet each other, not heartlessly grunting at each other. We are to look at our brothers and sisters with a sense of esteem; even esteeming another as better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). Conversely, we are not to treat another as if they are either invisible or insignificant. After all, when we look into the face of another Christian, not only are we viewing someone made in the image of God, but we are looking into the eyes of someone who one day will be transformed into the glorious image of Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29–30). To see a Christian is to see much more than what merely meets the eye. Literally, and wonderfully. Such a perspective goes a long way towards producing a welcoming disposition; it replaces a threatening demeanour with a safe and welcoming one. But the flip side equally applies. When people approach us, do they see a welcoming or a “get lost” visage?
By nature, some people have a rather unwelcoming “resting face,” while others have a more inviting one. Though I envy those with the ever-present smile, I also realise I should not fret over a physical quality that I cannot completely change. Jesus said so (Matthew 6:27). Therefore we might have to live with a physical fact of life. But even with a more sobering “resting face,” our disposition can nevertheless be a welcoming one. We never read of Jesus laughing (though doubtless he did) but we do read that he was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). I suspect that his “resting face” was more of the sober, thoughtful type. Regardless, he was clearly approachable. The sick, the maimed, the grieving easily comfortably approached him. Most convincingly, mothers were comfortable bringing their children to him (Mark 10:13). No mom worthy of the title would send their child into a place posted with warnings, “Beware of the Dog.” But they are quite comfortable leading their little ones to the arms of one who is loving, caring, and, most of all, safe. Which is how I want to be. I suspect you do also.
So, how can we be more “welcoming”?
For one thing we can initiate conversation. And when we ask how someone is doing, be willing to listen. Many years ago, I came across a man who had been a friend of my grandmother at a former church. He asked me how she was doing but it was pretty clear he was not listening for when I told him that she had recently broken her hip he replied, “That’s good to hear!” Let’s be honest, to some degree we have all been equally guilty. However, there is something refreshing about being with someone who makes you feel that they are really focused on your situation. Of course, that can be abused but, for argument’s sake, it is a characteristic we should work on. When someone engages with you, be, well, engaging!
One way to develop this is to pay heed to Jesus’ counsel to “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them” (Luke 6:31). Put yourself in the shoes of your fellow church member. Consider their happy providence and their sorrowful providence to be yours, showing genuine interest in their welfare.
Again, perhaps you are the one under a sorrowful providence. If so, don’t allow a sad countenance to morph into a sour countenance. Right or wrong, most people will avoid interaction. After all most people fear a vicious bite. So, remove the warning Pasop vir die Hond and, with gospel-driven humility, put up a “Welcome, Help Wanted” sign. We all need others knocking on the door of our life pointing us to the Lord. Therefore, let’s do all we can to both welcome those who can help us and to be welcoming to those to whom we can do much good.
Working on my resting face,
Doug