I wish I had written this before recently messing up, but as they say, “better late than never.” Having now preached this truth to myself, let me share it with you.
When Paul was wrapping up his first inspired letter to the Corinthians, he told them of his travel plans (1 Corinthians 16:5–11). His aim was to come and spend considerable time with them before heading onward in ministry. He hoped to spend the entire winter with them. As important as it was for Paul to write to them, he also knew the value of face-to-face fellowship. Earlier in the letter, he noted that some among them rather mockingly implied that he was bold in letters but weak in presence (4:18; see also 2 Corinthians 10:9–10). He assured them that, if he visited, he would prove the error of that conclusion. Anyway, he knew that sometimes a lot can get lost in translation and hence the need for a visit. In our vernacular, he knew that face to face is often better than texting. “Lost in translation” is equalled by “lost in texting.” Sadly, I keep seeming to have to re-learn that lesson.
Texting concerning potentially controversial or “disagreeable” matters can cause unnecessary misunderstanding and even harm. Quickly sending a message often conveys curtness, coming across as rude due to being quick with the thumb. The fact is that thumbs are lousy at conveying tone, which in turn can lead to a breakdown of communication producing strain on a relationship. Therefore, we (I) need to think before sending. Face to face is usually better. Let me expand on this.
When it comes to relationships, our increasing propensity to live behind digital screens can hinder our making the effort, taking the time, and even absorbing the risk of face-to-face communication.
As an eldership, we have discussed the convenient temptation to “pastor by WhatsApp.” Now, don’t be too hard on us. WhatsApp is a wonderful means by which we can stay in touch with the flock. Birthday greetings, confirming appointments, informing members of our prayers, asking for prayer requests, etc. are several ways in which texting can be a blessing. However, there are many times when a phone call or face to face communication is much better.
Though the digital world is rich with memes, nevertheless texting—and emailing—fail to adequately convey tone of voice, or a compassionate or tender facial expression. Satire in an email can lead to hurt feelings if the recipient fails to see the friendly smile of the sender.
I have written a fair amount recently about social media, smart phones, and the like. And a lot of it has been negative. That is not because I am an old man who grumpily decries this “brave new world.” Rather, I am concerned about the depersonalisation of relationships through increased social hibernation behind screens, whether on a laptop or on a phone. The increased social alienation and interpersonal disruptions that are so palpable in our environments demand that Christians work hard to overcome this. This destructive social tendency demands that we get out of our chairs and meet someone for coffee, sit with them in their home, or have them in our home. And when we gather with them in a church context, as I addressed in an earlier article, we must make the effort to lift our heads from our phones, look around at those around us, and interact with them. Yes, actually look at them, shake their hand (maybe even a hug?), open our mouth, and speak to them. Who knows, perhaps something meaningful will happen!
If you are in conflict with someone, though a letter may be a first step towards reconciliation, meeting with them is essential for full conciliation. Do the hard thing. It will be worth it. Again, consider the apostle Paul’s relationship with the Corinthian church. For him to make the trip to Corinth meant that other ministry would need to be set aside for the time being. Further, various risks associated with travel in those days were a looming possibility. Nevertheless, the welfare of brothers and sisters, as well as the health of relationships, was apparently worth the costs. But in the meanwhile, an inspired letter would need to do.
Christians long for face-to-face fellowship with our Lord and Saviour. In the meanwhile, his inspired word is sufficient. And yet do we not long to be with him and to see him? When that day comes, I suppose we will say, “Thank you for the text; it was great. But there is no comparison with seeing you face to face.”
Typing, but hoping to see you soon,
Doug