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Every Member Matters (Matthew 18:1–35)

by Doug Van Meter | Miscellaneous Sermons 2024

“Oh to live with saints above, that will be glory! But to live with saints below, well, that’s another story.” If you have been a church member for very long—perhaps not so long!—you can probably relate to that jingle. Though gospel-formed churches are the result of God’s amazing grace, sometimes they are not always so gracious. Though the product of God’s saving power, sometimes they seem anything but powerful. Though they exist by God’s humbling mercies and forgiveness, sometimes they resemble anything but mercy and forgiveness. But a proper grasp of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 can reform the local church to what God designed it to be.

I recently read Love The Ones Who Drive You Crazy by Jamie Dunlop. It reminded me of how church members need to work at relationships, which led me to Matthew 18. In this study, I want to help us to appreciate the value and the vulnerability of each other and our responsibility to esteem and to guard each other. As we will see, every member matters. We will study this under five headings:

1. The Context in Which We Fail (v. 1)
2. The Correction We Need (vv. 2–4)
3. The Caution We Must Hear (vv. 5–11)
4. The Concern We Must Have (vv. 12–20)
5. The Characteristic We Must Practice (vv. 21–35)

The Context in Which We Fail

We see, first, the context in which we so often fail: “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’” (v. 1).

Jesus has been preparing his disciples for this death. He has assigned a leading role to Peter. He has demonstrated his kingdom glory and power. Though the disciples seemingly grasped the reality of the kingdom, they did not grasp its nature, as evidenced by their question, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom?” This was neither the first nor last time they would think in this way. Like us.

Our context is similar: Though we have heard the gospel, believe the biblical teaching about the kingdom, yet we are tempted to prideful confusion about the countercultural nature of this kingdom.

Like the disciples, seeking to be the greatest makes us competitive, not communal. It is possible to be in the presence of Jesus and of his people and yet to miss the point completely. We have met the disciples and they are us!

The Correction We Need

Jesus goes on to issue the correction we all need: “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’” (vv. 2–4).

Jesus turns their worldly idea of greatness on its head. He always does this. For the Christian, up is down and down is up. The gospel reverses the values of the world. It turns things right side up!

Jesus teaches them the fundamental truth that in his kingdom, in his church, those who are the greatest are childlike. Unless one is childlike, they cannot even enter the kingdom. Those who are the greatest don’t know it and don’t care about it. Their highest aspiration is to be in the grip of Jesus, not great for him.

Before unpacking this, please note that Jesus did not say “childish.” In fact, the disciples were doing quite well at being childish! To be childish is to be competitive, grasping, self-focused, and whining. This was revealed in the disciples by their quest for “who is the greatest?” They needed to repent (“turn”) from such childish attitudes and behaviour. They needed to be humbled to humility.

This scene reminds me of the story about the great boxer Mohammed Ali. Ali was clearly under the impression of greatness. Once, on an airplane, the air steward instructed him to fasten his seatbelt. He responded, “Superman don’t need no seatbelt” to which she responded, “Superman don’t need no airplane either; fasten your seatbelt.” Christian, we need a similar reality check and Jesus gives it here.

What is childlikeness, and why is repentance required?

To be childlike, in the historical context, has nothing to do with being cute and cuddly, nor does it imply innocence. Though parents loved their children, they did not view them as “great” in the sense communicated by the disciples.

In the first century, a child was vulnerable. Infant mortality was very high. This was one reason for a prolonged period of “seclusion” after birth.

Further, since having a child meant another mouth to feed without the benefit of additional labour, children were often viewed in the culture as insignificant. They added no material value to the household or community.

And, of course, children were (and are) completely dependent upon others for their sustenance and welfare. They were unable to contribute and unable to control.

Finally, a little child makes no claims of worthiness or greatness. Little children have no ambition to be “greater” than others. Children are culturally colour blind and, though they may behave greedily, they are not class conscience. They do not pursue eminence. They need some years learning this flaw from us adults!

In summary, Jesus is saying that this is the characteristic of those who by the grace of God enter his kingdom. They are just happy to be graced while the ambition for greatness does not even enter the discussion. Those who enter God’s kingdom do so through the gateway of the cross of Jesus Christ. They let go of control, selfish ambition, ungodly competitiveness as simply to Christ’s cross they cling. Brothers and sisters, this is to be our disposition. And grace makes it possible. This disposition will need to be worked on and yet its seed lies within the heart of everyone who truly bows to the King of kings.

This disposition requires repentance. Jesus made this clear with his exhortation, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This was not rhetorical hyperbole but rather a sobering warning containing a non-negotiable requirement. While the disciples were arguing about being the greatest in the kingdom, they needed self-examination as to whether they were even in the kingdom!

To enter the kingdom of God requires the grace of repentance. It requires the grace of God bringing us to the realisation of our insufficiency. To put it another way, it requires turning from our arrogant, defiant self-sufficiency.

Recently someone said to me that using a GPS is a good example of what it means to be childlike. Using a GPS requires letting go and trusting another to guide you implicitly. We probably all know how not listening to it does not end well! So with the Christian. We confess that we are not in control; we trust that someone else knows what we don’t know and we trust him implicitly.

Those in the kingdom trust the one who knows the way, who is the Way. By “blindly following” we will enter the kingdom and will arrive safely home. This is the required disposition of every member.

To enter the kingdom of God requires us to repent of our childishness of self-justification, self-defensiveness, and or our pouting that “life is not fair.”

Cry out to God to makes you childlike. You must be born again. To be a child of God requires the new birth and everyone who experiences the new birth is a child of God, which implies a disposition of humble dependence.

Is that you? Or are you characterised by griping about your rights? Are you demanding, obsessed with being in control? Do you resent authority? Do you resent being dependent on the Lord and those through whom he rules? Is your disposition controlled by a critical spirit? These are serious questions with serious, eternal ramifications. At your funeral could it truly be said, “She was childlike”?

The Caution We Must Hear

Third, there is a caution we must hear:

Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 18:5–11

Having made clear the disposition demanded and provided by God alone to enter his kingdom, to be born again, Jesus transitions to the theme of how this disposition effects our treatment of other children in the kingdom. In sum, Jesus makes clear that every child of God matters; every subject of King Yahweh in his kingdom matters; every believing member of the church matters. Therefore, be very careful how you treat them.

William Barclay tells “of an old man who was dying; he was obviously sorely troubled. At last they got him to tell them why. ‘When we were boys at play,’ he said, ‘one day at a cross-roads we reversed a signpost so that its arms were pointing in the wrong direction, and I’ve never ceased to wonder how many people were sent in the wrong direction by what we did.’” Barclay then adds, “The sin of all sins is to teach another to sin.”

Jesus explains that those in the kingdom are like children in that they are both valuable and vulnerable. And each is to be treated accordingly. Those outside of the kingdom will be held woefully accountable if they harm them, if they cause them to stumble, if they tempt them into sin. The assumption is that someone professing to be “inside” who so behaves is actually outside. That is, our relationship with Christians is inseparably connected to our relationship with God. This is sobering passage requires serious reflection and serious self-examination.

Reception or Rejection?

Jesus commands his disciples to embrace his other disciples. Those who are God’s children are to appreciate the rest of God’s children. And the disciples raw ambition for greatness (v. 1) indicates they were not doing this. Their quest for one-upmanship reveals a cruel childishness seeking to harm the vulnerable. Jesus says, “Stop it.” If we pursue greatness we will harm God’s people. Therefore take radical steps to guard others, thereby guarding yourself as well.

Don Carson observes, “Perhaps the particular believer-to-believer attitude that most needs rooting out is pride. Jesus’ disciples must deal as radically with pride as they were earlier commanded to deal with lust (5:29–30).”

To receive one such child in his name means to treat fellow believers like you would treat Jesus Christ. The Christian’s communion with Jesus Christ is not inseparable from his communion with his fellow Christian. Communion with Christ and communion with Christians are one and the same. If you treat Jesus Christ with honour then you will treat his church with honour. If you mistreat his church, you mistreat him. And according to Jesus, there will be hell to pay, quite literally.

“Woe” is a terrifying word in the mouth of Jesus. It is as far from human flourishing as is possible (see Matthew 5:1–2; 23).

Jesus says that the torment arising from mistreating his people is such that one is better off exercising self-mutilation than so sinning against a child of God (vv. 7–9). We are better off being drowned than to so sin and face his wrath. Better to drown than to be damned.

In v. 10 Jesus develops this serious theme further warning against treating his people with disregard, with dismissal by “despising” them. The word means to value as nothing and hence to look down on someone. This is sinful, dangerous, and can be damning.

According to Hebrews 1:10–12 God sends his angels to minister those whom he saves. They pay attention to the Father’s countenance. Don’t anger him.

Sadly, we live in an era in which God is seen as nothing but a fluffy, sentimental, and malleable Father Christmas. That is dangerous, because the Lord God has not changed. And according to Jesus, we dare not trifle with his people; we dare not mistreat those whom he values. He values those for whom he sent his Son to die.

Hateful Indifference

It has been said that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. If that is true, then too often professing Christians are guilty of such hate.

That is, we can be guilty of indifference towards physically-suffering church members, indifferent towards those struggling with sin who desire victory, indifferent to fellow members who are struggling emotionally and even mentally. After all, to involve ourselves with them will require time—lots of it. Or it will involve money—sometimes lots of it. It will require energy—often a whole lot of it. Nevertheless, Jesus warns that, if we summarily dismiss the vulnerable, we will give an account. We should rather view one another as valuable thus involving ourselves with each other.

When Jesus speaks about “sin” in this passage, he indicates that how we treat another may have serious moral consequences. I wonder how many Christians have wandered into sin because they were neglected in the church.

Now, I am well aware that this can be an all too easy excuse. Nevertheless, indifference can be sinfully tempting. One thinks of a wife neglected by her husband, tempting her into the arms of another man. It is inexcusable, yet undeniable, that the husband must share some of the blame.

When church members are treated as unwelcomed, it is not surprising that they might find themselves in unhealthy relationships with unbelievers. When church members are eaten up with bitterness and mistreat fellow members, tempting them to leave the fellowship, beware.

Brothers and sisters, think about this the next time you “ghost” a member. Think about the destructive repercussions the next time you decide to hang on to the sin of unforgiveness. Give serious consideration to this when tempted to ignore that plea for help or the plea for church unity on some matter.

The Concern We Must Have

If the disciples at this point were wondering just how valuable other children in the kingdom are, vv. 12–20 make clear they are very valuable.

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Matthew 18:12–20

First, they are so valuable that they are to be pursued if they in are in peril (vv. 12–14).

This well-known word-picture instructs us of the Father’s concern for every one of his people, everyone in his “flock.” It is important to note that “this love for the individual sheep is not at the expense of the entire flock but so that the flock as a whole may not lose a single one of its members” (Carson).

We learn that each one of his sheep (changing the metaphor) is vulnerable. “Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the Lord I love.” Psalm 119:176 captures this vulnerability well: “I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments.” When you become a member of a local church, regardless of how strong and “healthy” it is, you are joining a flock of the vulnerable, tempted to wander away.

We should not be surprised though, we should be saddened, when God’s sheep wander. But we should also be determined to rescue the perishing. This is Jesus’ point. We like to think—rightly so—that the Good Shepherd of the sheep goes after the wayward sheep. This, of course, is a biblical reality (Luke 15:1–7). But read our text closely—and then read what follows.

Jesus makes clear that each of God’s sheep is valuable to him. He despises none of them. This is clear from v. 14: “So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” And where God reveals his will, he also reveals his way. For that we need to move to the next paragraph (vv. 15–20). When we do, we discover God’s way to fulfil his will: his other sheep. Or, in keeping with the larger theme, God uses his children to rescue his erring children. He uses Christians to rescue Christians. He uses his people to reach his people.

This passage is the usual “go to” passage for church discipline. Our Lord instructs his disciples how to go after those in the church who are erring, those who are beginning to wander. Time prohibits us interpreting this in detail, and this is not my major concern. I want us to see and to appreciate and to act upon the truth that every member matters, as long as they can legitimately be referred to as a member. I will explain this in a moment. But first let me make an important observation.

When we come to this passage, and the wider biblical practice of church discipline, we must do so understanding the context we have emphasised today: the context of meaningful, caring relationships. Without the relational commitment of vv. 1–14, this passage is better left undone. Hypocrisy is too easily fallen into.

The words “your brother” (v. 15) speak volumes about the tone of this biblical mandate. Again, while not going into exegetical detail, we should focus on a couple of essential principles our Lord provides for a church where every member matters.

First, the purpose of this process is the restoration of the offending member. The goal is restoration, rehabilitation, not retribution. This is a major reason why the circle is to remain as small as possible. “Profiting” the offender is the purpose. We confront with care because we want to “benefit” our fellow member. We see them on a course of possible destruction and so we reach out to “win” them for their sake, for Christ’s sake. And if we do, then we all win.

Second, the practice of this biblical mandate is congregational. There is no mention of elders in this passage. The assumption is that since every member matters then every member is called upon to be involved. If things develop to the point where the entire “church” is called to involvement then it is expected that its elders will be involved. Nonetheless the emphasis is upon the congregation’s participation. Elders don’t excommunicate, the congregation does. This assumes congregation-wide involvement.

How can you responsibly discipline if you are disconnected, unaware? If you really don’t care? If you are not present? If in answer to this you shrug your shoulders and say, “I don’t really care” then you need to repent. And this might require joining a church where you will care. That is simply the truth.

Third, this biblical mandate is a matter of spiritual life and death. Biblical church discipline is perhaps the highest expression of Christian love and concern for those professing to be children of God. It certainly puts to the test one’s profession of being childlike.

As designed by Jesus Christ, this process of attempted restoration confronts the erring church member with the claims of the gospel on his or her life. It reminds the erring member that he or she has claimed to be a follower of the Lamb of God who took away their sin. It lovingly confronts erring members, getting their attention by grabbing them by their baptismal robes reminding them they professed to live in obedience to the lordship of Jesus Christ. In other words, it reminds them of their profession of faith. By this process, a church member, and if necessary the entire congregation, is taking their former profession of faith seriously.

Of course, if the member resists and rejects this intervention, then the congregation has the sorrowful duty before Christ—and with his authority (v. 20)—to excommunicate them; that is, to withdraw its affirmation of their profession of faith.

The process, of course, is not infallible. However, it is a serious thing when a congregation can no longer in good conscience credibly affirm one as a child of God. Brothers and sisters, we need to be reminded of this solemn responsibility. And because every member matters, each member is to make this responsibility their own.

The Characteristic We Must Practice

Finally, in the passage that remains, we learn how we are to respond when an erring member seeks restoration.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Matthew 18:21–35

I love this. The teaching does not end with excommunication but rather with the assumption of repentance and restoration! Peter wants to know if there is a limit to forgiveness of a wandering member. If he was paying attention to the initial instruction he would not have asked such a thing. After all, young children are the most forgiving of people.

Barclay helpfully observes, “We owe a very great deal to the fact that Peter had a quick tongue. Again and again Peter rushed into speech, and his impetuosity drew from Jesus teaching which is immortal.”

Jesus provides a parable to drive home the gospel truth that those who have been forgiven are forgiving. Those who have been forgiven much forgive much. After all, since Christians have been forgiven an infinite amount—having sinned against infinite God—it is expected that we will forgive those who have only sinned against us finitely. Carson comments, “Failure to forgive excludes one from the kingdom, whose pattern is to forgive.” Yes, forgiveness characterises the child of God. Have you ever noticed how easily little ones forgive? We are to be like that. As Jackman says, “Forgiveness must be the lifestyle of the Christian, a constant attitude, our reflex response.”

Barclay wrote, “He who will not forgive his fellow-men cannot hope that God will forgive him…. We have been forgiven a debt which is beyond all paying—for the sin of man brought about the death of God’s own Son.”

Sir Walter Scott wrote, “Revenge is sweet, the sweetest morsel ever cooked in hell.” But those who are childlike, those who have been forgiven because of the sacrificial, substitutionary death of the Lord Jesus Christ who rose from the dead and who intercedes for us—always forgiving us—because of this good news, we realise the sweetness of forgiveness. And we do this continually to every member, because as I hope we have seen, every member matters.

AMEN