Confused Identities

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cithumbWe live in a confusing world. If you came from outer space or from the deep jungle and heard the words “soap opera,” you might have assumed that, since soap has something to do with “clean” and opera has something to do with “entertainment,” a soap opera must refer in some way to “clean entertainment.” We know otherwise.

One medium that Satan’s “gay agenda marketing department” has been actively using in our day is the soap opera and other media like movies and books. His primary agenda with this, as always, is to confuse good and evil. When he tempted Adam and Eve, he created confusion. Since that day he continued his evil war by planting this question into the minds of Adam’s descendants: “Are you really sure?” In this article we want to address some of the many uncertainties that people struggle with regarding homosexuality.

Consider these statements:

  • God made people.
  • God is sovereign.
  • God loves people.
  • Some people are born with a proneness to homosexuality.
  • We should love all people.
  • We can’t change people.

Some people put these statements together to simply read: We must love and accept homosexual people since God made them that way and loves them.

We would agree with the first six statements above. You may be nervous about the fourth one but if we replace the word “homosexuality” with “sin,” you would agree that all people are born with a proneness to all kinds of sin. The conclusion that some people come to in the light of all the above (that is, the seventh statement) is what is going to need some closer examination.

To answer this matter we need to start at the beginning. Genesis 1 shows that God designed patterns. Take the product of Day 1 for example: light. Light consists of waves, and waves have a very clear pattern. There is order. God further created order by grouping things together: land and sea, light and darkness, day and night, animals, birds and plants, seasons and years. All are separated and grouped together according to their kinds. God created order. If we have to compare it to the way we store things, we could say that God has a box for everything. For example, 24 hours go into a “day” box. The day boxes go together on the “week” shelf. The week shelves go together in the “month” closet. The month closets go together in the “seasons” room. The seasons rooms are together in the “year” house. There is a space and time for everything so that we do not need to be confused. God made everything like this.

God also created order when He created mankind. He created two separate kinds: male and female. They are different and look different. They have been designed and appointed to have different roles. They also have different responsibilities. Their thinking and emotions are affected by the way God designed them.

Although God separated their sexual identities, he also created a grouping of a man and a woman that we call marriage. To break any of those patterns is adultery (or at least, perversion). At the heart of homosexual sin is a desire to be what God did not plan and to do things that God did not design. God is not confused about what He designed and what He expects from His creatures, but humans often are. We sometimes have thoughts that feel good and right to us, but they are not.

Those who have homosexual thoughts that make them feel good have to consider God’s design. We cannot let our feelings guide us. What feels good is often the opposite of what is good. If what feels good was the rule for what is good, some of us would have stayed in bed this morning with chocolates for breakfast. If they stated that God gave them the appetite for rest and chocolates, we would have to admit that there is some truth in that. But we would also acknowledge that appetite was not the only thing that God gave us. God gave us an appetite for intimacy, but He also gave us very clear guidelines on how to manage and express that appetite.

Our desire for intimacy can be incredibly powerful. Solomon said love is as strong as death (Song of Songs 8:6). Sometimes, we may feel a strong urge to dress and act and be with others in a way that God did not design. When we give expression to our strong desires to do the very things that God forbids, we sin.

We know the snares to sin are endless. How does it happen that even believers get caught by an appetite for what God forbids?

In the case of homosexuality, there are a number of things that may turn temptations into something more than a mere possibility to sin. Let us consider a few.

The things children learn when they grow up determines what they become. Most of what they learn doesn’t happen through formal training (using words) but rather through impressions, experiences and examples. They create their own personal truth—the rules by which they live. Their “truth” determines what is good and bad for them. (This is not the same as God’s truth.) Let us consider a few “truth”-forming influences that have been observed.

Modelling

If fathers and mothers deny or neglect their God-given roles or identities, children should not be expected to form a clear sexual identity of their own.

Treatment

Harshness on the part of any parent could develop into an aversion to the opposite sex. Believers who are church angels but house devils may bear the fruit of sexually confused children.

Expectations

Some parents who hoped for a child of a different sex than the one they received raise their children with an identity opposite to the actual sex of that child.

Associations

Some characteristics are mistakenly associated with the opposite sex. Characteristics like emotional intensity, compassion, or creativity for example are not exclusively female traits. Seeing a specific characteristic in a child may lead parents or others to respond to or categorise the child in a manner that distorts their identity.

Exposure

Children and infants who are exposed to the “adult” world early on in life are known to prematurely develop physically. This exposure may include pornography and molestation by adults or fellow children. These early experiences have an inevitable influence upon their sexual identity forming. Children’s innate curiosity and the potential for out-of-bounds roleplaying games should guide parents in their consideration of what they allow their children with regard to internet access and events like sleepovers.

Beyond the childhood experiences, listed above, exposure to distortions of God’s design may also trigger homosexual sin in adults. Considering all these experiences that could trigger distorted sexual identity and activity, it may seem like these people are victims, and indeed they are victims of sin. (Woe to the one through who the temptation comes!) Partaking in the sin of homosexuality however makes one more than a victim; it makes him or her a sinner in need of redemption.

The world’s solution is that we all should get comfortable in our own skin. They mean we need to make peace with who and what we supposedly are. Those who suppress the truth of God’s design, however, will have no peace. All sin leads to destruction—in the present and in eternity. To leave them in their sin provides them with no sure hope in their uncertain, confused identity.

Therefore, let us consider the earlier statement again: We must love and accept homosexual people since God made them that way and loves them.

Our reply is fourfold:

  1. As believers, we must love all people. No one should be accepted or rejected on the basis of the sins that they have committed or struggle with. That doesn’t mean we find their sin acceptable.
  2. We believe that what the sins that occasionally arouse a Christian’s appetites does not determine who they are.
  3. God does not make people to be homosexual. God did make people with a desire for relationship and intimacy. The Bible clearly shows us what the acceptable and unacceptable expressions of our desires are.
  4. God sent His Son to save sinners, including homosexuals. He has saved many homosexuals before and is mighty to do so again. Even if the journey does not take place overnight, God gave His Word, His Spirit and His people as a means to overcome some formidable temptations.

If you would like to do further reading on the matter of homosexuality and how to be freed from it, the following texts would help you: Genesis 4:7; Genesis 19:4-13; Leviticus 18:3, 22-30; Leviticus 20:13, 23-24; Deuteronomy 23:17-18; Judges 19:15-25; 1 Kings 14:24; Romans 1:18-32; Romans 6:11-14; 1 Corinthians 6:9-20; Timothy 1:8-11.

If you are affected directly or indirectly by matters mentioned in the article, prayerfully consider discussing the matter with a trusted soul surgeon.

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